Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Grateful

A gift - from my precious friends, Dave & Cathy & Carianne!. I LOVE it!

Fighting Chances

Dec. 30, 2014, Jeff , Scott, and I go to my first oncologist appointment. It's a cold day. We head to the basement of Good Sam North, (figures that cancer treatment would be in the basement). We walk in and this black cloud of sadness and depressing air smack me in the face! What am I doing here anyway? I give the receptionist my name and as she is putting my info in to her computer I am thinking to myself, I want to be the one sitting behind that desk at the computer. Not the one signing in for future treatment.
 
I look around at the patients with hats and wigs and pale white to yellow colored skin. I want to turn around and run for the door. Such a somber place!
 
Finally I am called back to meet with the doctor. The nurse is sweet and tries to be funny, and normally I would oblige but not today. The room is small and smothering. I already know I don't want to be here.
 
The doctor comes in and she is nice but very business like. She seems to know her stuff. She questions me. I pretty much hear the same info I heard at Ohio state. Which is comforting that it lines up.
 
After the consultation the three of us walk out together and begin discussing a decision of where and who I will place my trust and care of my life to. Of course God holds that right and responsibility, but who am I going to allow Him to work through? I make my decision and walk away knowing it will not be here.
 
And so it is decided! Ohio State it is.
 
Just a few months ago I was doing a strenuous work out now I am going to be fighting for my life. How does that happen?
I look at people who are obvious unhealthy, their bodies don't seem to betray them as mine just has done!
 
What did I do to bring this on? Seem unfair. Life isn't fair, never was promised to be!
 
Normally the decisions I have to make about my appearance is; do I wear my hair down or do I put it up in a ponytail? Do I keep my same color or change it up? Layers or not?
My not so far away decisions could be wig or hat? What will my hair look like when it comes back in? Do I cut it short now or let it just come out?
While my hair is not priority over my life, it is still a major change I have to adjust to because I have this little monster in my body that just changed everything!
 
I have a been given a new perspective as I bring this mornings journal to a close: The news is full of the airliner that went down in the ocean.  Those people weren't given the opportunity to fight for their lives.  It wasn't the plan for them to play a part in their survival. God has given me that opportunity.  How can I be mad about that?

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

For Your Safety, Please Remain Seated ....


I'm at the airport and all these people are hustling by me, going here and going there.  I am standing dumbfounded staring into space.  I have a flight to catch but I have no idea which one I am getting on.  One plane is headed into a hurricane, one is headed into tropical winds, one is headed into a thunderstorm, one is headed into the unknown.  Which one will be my flight?

Monday, December 29, 2014

Hope & Hot Potato

Dear Friends,

I met my surgeon from Ohio State this morning, He was young but very knowledgeable. He was also encouraging and he seemed to have a plan tailored just for me. He has scheduled a microscopic ultrasound and a pet scan for the first week of January.  These tests will determine the stage of the cancer.
The following week, my surgeon and oncologist are going to go over the results of the testing with me and we will be able to map out a plan. Surgery is a sure thing, chemo and radiation therapy is probable, it all depends on if cancer is found in the lymph nodes. I just won’t know the order of things until tests are completed and reviewed.

Like I said, my doctor was very encouraging. He said this type of cancer IS curable and that I am appearing to be in the early stages. He also said that the surgery will be rough and will have a recovery time of 6 to 12 months.

I’m so thankful that I was able to get an appointment at Ohio State so soon! It was a God thing for sure. It was relayed to me – somehow (and I’m still not clear on this) – that I would need to bring all of my previous pathology results to my Ohio State appointment, which made perfect sense to me. So Jeff and I made some phone calls and did some running around and I was able to bring them with me to my appointment this morning. When I handed them over to the staff, I got a little bit of a weird vibe. The reason was revealed quickly; unbeknownst to me, I had requested and received my actual pathology specimen. It made for a quick game of “hot potato” between me and the staff. That was a much needed laugh! I was told this is the first time they have ever encountered a patient bringing in their own pathology specimen. I'm not surprised.

I have renewed hope today. Thank you for all the kind words and the prayers. I cherish them. I most likely will not be able to respond to any Facebook messages or posts. I’m taking a break from Facebook right now, I just feel it’s something I need to do.

Much Love,
Gigi

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Surgeon & Supplication

Dear Friends,

Tomorrow (Monday, January 29, 2014) I have an appointment at 8:00 in the morning with a surgeon who specializes with my specific type of cancer at Ohio State. All the testing that I've had so far have come back encouraging.


Please pray with me that:

The cancer has been found early and that it has not advanced.

That the tumor can be removed quickly.

That my doctor will be quick to action.


I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus!
Much Love,
Gigi

Journaling the Journey

AND SO IT BEGINS
…. my journey to healing - and you’re welcome to journey with me. I need believers and encouragers by my side.  Negative Nancy's will be called out and asked to step off!  I’ll be keeping it real. It won’t be all rainbow’s and cuddly kittens.  I suspect this journey will include some ugly things but He makes all things beautiful, doesn’t He?
The title of my journey, In Oceans Deep, taken from the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, click on the link below and it will take you right to it:

Oceans

And this my loved ones, is where the rubber meets the proverbial road ...er ... um .... I mean the proverbial "ocean" for me. 

I am anchored securely in my life's verse:

For the mountains may leave you and the hills be removed.  But my grace will never leave you, and my covenant of peace will not be removed. Says Adonai who has compassion for you.  Isaiah 54:10